Not many grumbles from the shop these days. It seems that when a contractor orders a kitchen he expects a completion date. Go figure. Health issues have limited my work day to an hour or two a day. So projects are few and far between. Unfortunately so are paychecks. The woodworking withdrawals set in bad so I started a project just for me. I raised bees in my younger days and wanted to get a hive again, but they cost some bucks, so when I found out about top-bar hives I knew I could get a hive for nothing. Right in my price range.
So I’m out in the shop feeding the wood bug, the addiction, the passion, the beast, first I have to organize the place. A year of opening the shop just to shove crap in sure makes for a disorganized mess. You know I just might have a touch of depression. Sure as shit didn’t feel like my spirit gave a damn about woodwork. Ya know! Days later I fine the table saw. I torn down a small shed so I have some wood. (note that thing about paychecks, being broke sucks) Parts are cut and ready for assembly. My last year working I bought one of those cool little 9 volt ion drill things from home despot with the matching flash light. The batteries are dead. Well they will work in the flash light, but forget turning a screw. Man. I use to really like that drill and it died within two years.
All is not lost I dragged out my dewalt. You know “key less” chucks mark the end of civilization. I don’t know how many times I’ve watched a key less chuck spin around a stuck drill bit. So I tighten it, it spins again. Nothing would work. My dad rants about how worthless key less chucks are, but I know people who swear they have never had a problem. Really! They must live in a different universe. We change a design to save “how” many seconds changing a bit. Three maybe four, or if you are like me three or four hours, because I’m guaranteed to lose the key. My brain kinks in and I see it clear as day. New Improved a key less chuck. The root of all evil. Think about it. My father has some old metal case craftsman tools from the 70’s that still work. If you think that fancy portacable belt sander will be running in 2050 you have been breathing too many lacquer fumes. Those tools use to be made here at home. That’s right American made quality tools. But no, we needed key less chucks. Lose you life savings in the tech bust…yep key less chucks. Have your daughter in a meth rehab? Lose your house to the housing bubble? Climate change, antibiotic resistant microorganisms, government deficits, terrorism, Charlie Sheen…yep all caused by key less chucks.
You might thing I’m just channeling the spirit of chicken little, but let me tell you about the height of western culture. It just happens to be the solution to my assembly issue. The 9 volt makita drill. I still have the original. It still works. Put the drill bit in and “walawww” top bar hive assembled! I don’t know if that was the chicken or the egg of our down fall, but that drill made every corded drill obsolete. I now own 6 of them. But even their days are numbered. The dark cloud on the horizon was the batteries. When I grabbed my trusted makita the last of the fancy new batteries bit the dust. Those new grey things where suppose to be the cats meow. I have six drills cause It was cheaper to buy a drill with two batteries than just two batteries. That alone is a harbinger of the end times. Wouldn’t it make more sense to sell two batteries cheaper than two batteries, a drill and a charger? So today I have six drills and three batteries. The batteries are the old black ones that outlasted makitas “new improved” grey slugs. Well, hell in a hand basket, I’ll take my tongue out of my cheek, just enough to say “You know we really are screwed. It’s not just my life that has gone to the dogs, but my whole country’s.” Yep I’ll go post my new top bar hive before the Lumberjock police get me for doing politics. Maybe next time I’ll drag God out of the cellar!